


The way things are

by Okumen



Category: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-31
Updated: 2015-03-31
Packaged: 2018-03-20 11:21:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3648435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Okumen/pseuds/Okumen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mu rubs his cheek against Kouen's skin, and yawns, but stays asleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The way things are

**Author's Note:**

> I have a problem, and it's this ship. It's stuck in my head and I have more than one wip with them among my drafts.
> 
> (Another problem that I've always had is titles, but that's nothing new)

Mu's breath is light and soft against Kouen's back, and his skin is warm against his. Kouen would not admit it, but Mu's arms wrapped around his waist makes him feel strangely safe, his cheek pressed against his back makes him feel close. The halfbreed might be heavy dead weight as he sleeps, but it's a comfortable silence and Kouen finds it cozy. He has some of Mu's thick hair between his fingers, and he twines it between them, idly braiding a sloppy and tangled, ugly braid, and he presses the bare sole of a foot against Mu's warm leg. Mu rubs his cheek against Kouen's skin, and yawns, but stays asleep.  


And Kouen wants Mu to stay asleep for a long time yet, because once he wakes up, he will soon have to leave. He will have to jump over to one of Reim's ships and they will then be unlikely to meet again in a long time.  


Kouen writes down some more notes from what they learned at the summit, and glances over his shoulder at Mu's sleeping form.  


Those red lions... They had been the Fanalis, had they not? They must have been. It was really quite incredible and now.... now he understands a little, why Mu must feel so out of place in their world. He had told Kouen about it, once, but they had never even guessed that the land of the Fanalis, the place where Mu had gone when he was young, actually was located in Alma Torran. It was exciting to think about.

His lover had been to another world. To the world Kouen had researched for many years. And the man really belonged there, didn't he? With those wild, great beasts.

He clutches the hair in his hand, and drops his head against the pillow. His ear lands on the parchment he had been writing on, but he ignores it for now.

If Mu didn't belong in this world, if he belonged in Alma Torran, then didn't that ultimately mean that he didn't belong with Kouen? Is that why Mu refuses certain things? Has he always known? It isn't only the problem with them both being men, it is that Mu doesn't belong. Too good for this world? Perhaps. Too kind and dedicated? No doubt. The thought has crossed Kouen's mind before, but it has never felt real. Not until now, when he realizes that it's true. Mu really _is_ too good for this world.

He clutches Mu's hair to his chest, and accidentally pulls a bit too hard. He holds his breath when Mu shifts, and a thin, chilly line is drawn across his back as Mu turns his head, and his labret touches Kouen's skin. "What's wrong?" Mu asks, tired voice thick and muffled by Kouen's back, making his skin vibrate. The man is too perceptive, even half asleep. "Nothing," Kouen says, and pushes aside the parchment and pen, then turns around in Mu's grip. He looks down, and Mu is only a mess of wild red hair, engulfing Kouen's body.

"You sure?" Mu asks, and Kouen nods, buries a hand in Mu's thick hair, and curls his fingers around tangles and knots. "Yes." He tugs a little at the hair in his hands, and Mu looks up at him, frowns, and shakes his head. "No," he says. He presses a kiss to Kouen's chest, and then crawls up to kiss his lips. "There is something that is bothering you, Master Kouen. I can tell."

Kouen contemplates his words for a few moments. "I want you to be mine forever." He holds up a hand to stop Mu from saying what he knows he is thinking. "I know. It's not that easy. It's just wishful thinking." He tangles his fingers into Mu's hair. "I just wish things were different. If my Uncle and cousins had not died, I might have had a chance to pursue this desire." He closes his eyes briefly, then looks at Mu again. "But I can't. I am aware of that, and you don't need to remind me of it."

Mu has, while Kouen spoke, propped his chin against a palm, after untangling an arm from sheets and skin. "I'm sorry that I can't give you what you want," he says, and Kouen looks away, until Mu directs his attention back to his face with a few fingers against his cheek. "I wish I could, but I can't. I'm afraid that even if you had not held your current position as the first prince, I would have been unable to let you court me, because my position would not change."  


"It might have been different." Kouen says, and realizes, as Mu says it. "But we might have never even met." _He might have never fallen for me. I might have never fallen for him._ The thought is almost unbearable, once it has appeared in his mind. Mu seems to see it; a flash of emotions passing over Kouen's face for a very brief moment. Because he reaches out and brushes Kouen's hair out of his face, leans up and presses their lips together.

The man never says it. How he feels. He never says 'I love you', but Kouen can tell that he does. He can tell in the way that he touches him, when they're alone. In his kisses, his eyes, in his voice. He can tell from how his hands clutch almost desperately to him, sometimes, when he fucks him until he's gasping for air and shivering with pleasure. Only Mu can do that to him, only he would be allowed, and only he would be capable of it.

Because Kouen loves him, and Mu knows it. Knows it too well, but doesn't dare to return the feelings as much as he wants to. He probably thinks that Kouen doesn't know. How desperate he is, how loving, how tender. "I love you," Kouen says, firmly, and deepens the kiss. "Yeah," Mu murmurs against his lips, and Kouen can hear the unsaid _and I love you_ in his voice. He rues the day when he will have to marry, or when Mu will have to. Because he knows that Mu will not betray whoever he marries, and would not want Kouen to do that, either. The man is too honest, too considerate. _This world doesn't deserve you..._ Kouen thinks as Mu presses him into the mattress, and he wraps his arms around him. _I don't deserve you._

The ship rolls on the calm waves of the ocean, rocks them as if trying to comfort, and the heavy scent of salt reminds him of the truth.

He wishes things could be different, somehow, and that he could still have this love. Knows it's impossible, and wishes for time to stop moving.


End file.
